Things I have learned from moving away for a year.


Things I have learned from moving away for a year.

  1. Change is good. Pulling the rug out from under yourself will make you stop and breathe for a second whilst you recalibrate. It will be hard, but you will learn about yourself.
  2. Chasing change does not always mean that you are running away, but sometimes it does. Figure out what you are running from.
  3. There is nothing like being hundreds of miles away from the people that you love to make you realise how much you love them. 
  4. When building a new life, friendships will happen fast. Try to slow down. Look out for the people who feel most like home.
  5. Sometimes things go wrong. It is important in those moments to be introspective. It is not important to assign blame.
  6. Be cautious with how much of yourself you give away. It is okay to let people earn your trust.
  7. You do not have to express every emotion as soon as it appears. Repressing feelings is not healthy, but neither is overindulging them. Some things can be processed quietly, after the fact.
  8. Figure out whether talking about negative experiences is healing you or prolonging your pain.
  9. Don’t let your fear of causing conflict rule you.
  10. Be self-effacing, not self-deprecating. If you do not take yourself seriously, you will teach others not to take you seriously.
  11. Your fear of what other people think will hold you back creatively more than anything else. Let it go.
  12. Perseverance is important, but do not let it turn into needless masochism. You do not have to stick with everything you choose. You are allowed to change your mind.
  13. Figure out whether the kindest action is actually to be kind to yourself. If you always subvert your needs to the needs of others, you will feel the consequences.
  14. People are not easily sorted into a binary of ‘good’ and ‘bad’. Everyone is shades of grey, including you.
  15. Finally: if you feel adrift, reach out to the people who love you unconditionally. They will help you back to yourself.

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